Childhood Fears

         I was a weird kid. Instead of watching Disney movies and Barbie the Magic Princess, my favourite movies were "James and The Giant Peach" and "Billy Elliot". Who doesn't love a welsh kid that dances ballet? Thus, it would only be natural that my fears were just as out of the ordinary. I remember being afraid of lots of things yet doing them anyway, not to conquer my fears but out of sheer stupidity. For example, I had a real fear of the iron when I was a kid. To me, they were these heavy metal things that could potentially endanger your life. They were a more realistic and less adequate version of the Power Rangers' weapons. For any other kid, he/she would not have touched the iron with a ten-foot pole but not me. I just has to touch the base of the iron with my hand right after my grandmother was done using it. Of course, it definitely wasn't as hot as I expected it to be and I didn't die, but it was still pretty hot. Ever since then, I have hated all things hot, including the sun. Thanks iron, for causing me to get bronchitis because I don't drink any hot drinks.
            Another quirky fear of mine is definitely the fear of chicken going extinct. As I have mentioned, I devour chicken the was our culture devours reality television. Chicken, to me was like the Kardashians to reality TV addicts. If I had chicken for lunch, I would probably have it for dinner again. As a kid, it was the only type of meat I ate-except for a short phase when I had a strange passion for lamb. Even now, I still love chicken more than my family and friends. Just yesterday, I had fried chicken for breakfast, BBQ roasted chicken for lunch and paprika chicken for dinner. There is rarely a gastronomical moment in my life that does not include chicken. So, for a chicken-lover like me, the idea of there being no more chickens in the world for my consumption is akin to a singer losing his/her voice. It would be a downright calamity and a severe injustice to me. You might question the validity of this fear of mine but pause to think for a moment. What if someone took your favourite thing in the world and there were no other replicas? Just substitute it with chicken and you will understand.
                  There was also another fear of mine that I find difficult to explain. Remember the face of a baby on the sun in everyone's favourite children's show; Teletubbies? Did you think it was cute and simply adorable? Did you look up to the sun and wonder why there was no baby in it? Well, that's because only sadists and extremely intelligent people would trap innocent little babies in suns. Believe me, I hated the baby in the sun. Every time it came on, I would cry out and beg my mum to fast forward the part where it shone and gurgled. I mean, I wasn't a particularly precocious kid but even I could tell that any baby that was banished to the sun and still smiled with all the optimism in the world would definitely have to be evil. Do I sense a little Stockholm Syndrome? And the way it spied on the Teletubbies was a tad Orwellian for my liking. All the teletubbies ever did was sigh with amazement and amble around, they weren't exactly very interesting creatures. That solidified it for me that the baby in the sun was a weird, twisted stalker that deserved to be censored form television.
                    My last and least interesting fear has to be the fear of dogs. I purposely listed this fear as the last one to ensure that you will read my whole essay without skipping the generic portion of it. While the fear of dogs is quite a commonplace fear, when I say that i fear them, I literally mean it. Take for example, once when I was walking to the local orphanage with my maid, I saw a dog a great distance away. Yet, I refused to continue with my journey for fear it would pounce on me and rip me to shreds. It wasn't a puppy or a poodle, mind you. I was afraid of them, not stupid. However, it was pretty big and seemed intimidating even from afar. Maybe it was my poor eyesight but I swear I could see it's eyes searing into my body, probably thinking to itself "Well, there stands my lunch." My maid, being of an extremely insensitive nature, practically dragged me for a few centimeters more before she gave up. While she dragged me, I stood shock still whilst begging her to spare my life. As we stood there arguing, I saw the dog approaching us with evil in it's eyes. My poor heart couldn't take anymore so I ran home and burst into tears. My inane fear of dogs actually stemmed from when I was about 9 years old and got chased by a bulldog. I ran so fast back then that my slippers flew into the drain. Ever since then, I tremble and cry like a baby whenever there's a dog around.
                   Well, those are just a few of my childhood fears that I can recall vividly. I could expound on a few more but then I would end up boring you and who would want to be bored senseless reading a factual essay on childhood fears? If I was Freud, I'd probably theorize that fears stem from some deeply hidden sexual feelings just to spice it up, but this is a family- friendly blog. That's all I have to say for my childhood fears whist remaining on topic. If you are in need of reading more mature and less frivolous essays, please read the essays of other people that have spent more effort and time on theirs. Lastly, I dare you to find any of your childhood fears that are stranger than "the sun in Teletubbies."